THE BIGGEST RESORT IN THE WORLD

biggest resort in the world

friends gives hope

a friend gives hope

when life is low

a friends is a place

when u have

nowhere to go

a friend is honest

a friends is true

a friend is precious

and that

my friends is you

knowing a friend

knowing a friend like you has made me happy
in a million ways and if ever i have to let you go ,
i would find a millian reasons to make you stay.

sardar ji in america

Three Sardarjis went for a tour to America.They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel.
After taking rest they started for a local visit.
While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out.
After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30.
Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble.
After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,
“I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only”.
Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor.
Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story.
The third one said,
“I forgot the room key which is on the manager’s table”.
They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said,
” I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end”.
They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said,
” The keys were in my pocket only”.
With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor.
After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,
” I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only”.
Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:
“This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this…!!!”

SARDAR’S BIRTHDAY..

SARDAR’S BIRTHDAY..
Sardar went for an interview, The question was when is your birthday?
Sardar: 19th january.
Interviewer: which year?
Sardar: Nonsense..Every Year.

na neend

Na Neend Ati Hain Na Chain Ata HaiKoi
Tu Batahe Aisa Kyun Hota Hain
Chalte Chalte Qadam Rukh Jate Hain
Jaise Koi Awaz De Raha Hota Hain
Chehra To Nazar Nahi Ata Hain
Lakin Kisi Ka Ehsas Wahan Hota hain
Apno Ki Mehfil Main Beygana Lagta Hoon
Sub Ke Hote Hue Dil Na Jane
Kisi Ko Doond Raha Hota Hain

allIndia Radio

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is allIndia Radio!

skeleton

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child

wireless technology

The Russians dug 1000 ft in the ground and found copper wire;
they declared Russia had electricity 1000 years back.
US dug and found optical fiber and declared US had telephone 2000 years back.
A sardar in India found nothing. Then said oye we had wireless technology 5000 years back.

bitten by mosquitoes

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.
He gotirritated…drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

an interview

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

accident

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

FRIENDSHIP FUNDA.........

FRIENDSHIP FUNDA........."

Friendship Is Like...

NOKIA!Connecting People!

Friendship Is Like...

!SAMSUNGEvery One Is Invited

Friendship Is Like...

CELL ONEChanging Life Style!

Friendship Is Like...

PHILIPSLets Makes Things Better!

Friendship Is Like...

TAPALJaisay Chaho Jeoooo!

Friendship Is Like...

SPRITESirf Yeh Bhujaye Pyas Baki All Bakwass!

Friendship Is Like...

PEPSIAsk For More!

Friendship Is Like...

LGDigitally Yours!

Friendship Is Like..

. NIKEJust Do It!

Friendship Is Like...

HABIBKyoun Kay Ye Dil Ka Mamla Hai!

Friendship Is Like...

WAVESNaam Hi Kafi Hai!

Friendship Is Like...

BUTTER SCOTCH (hmmm)Chalti Jayee Chalti Jayee Chali Jayeeeee!

Friendship Is Like...

COCA COLAEnjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Tum ho, Hum ho

Dil karta hai aaj bas tum ho hum ho

is nagri mein mohabbat ki, na ho koi duja
mere dil mein ahesas sirf tum ho

aitbar tum mera, tum ho meri pooja
ishq hai junoon hai aur hai gudgudata sama

tum hue hamare yeh jaan ke mausam hasa
aayo aab tum bahon mein aa

jaois pyaar ke na mile kabhi saza

give me a ring

On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him.
Darling on ourengagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

two wheeler

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar whyare you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Munna Bhai and Circuit Jokes

Munna Bhai and Circuit Jokes
PROFESSORAkal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
----------------------------------------------------------------
CIRCUIT
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUIT
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
----------------------------------------------------------------
MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
MAMU
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUITBole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
PRINCIPAL
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI
Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Yahi to maza hai peene mein

यही तो मज़ा है पीने
मेंयही तो उत्सुकता है पी के जीने
मेंकरो जो चाहो तुम पी के दुनिया
मेंदिलेरी कर लो है दफ़न जो चाह सीना mein
*
Yahi to maza hai peene mein
yehi to utsukta hai pee ke jeene mein
karo jo chaho tum pee ke duniya mein
dileri kar lo hai dafan jo chah seena mein
**
Peene mein kya gum hai
Pee ke jeene mein kya gum hai
hum ne pe nahi hui hai to kya
peene ka ehasaas to hamme hai
**


*Lagta ha is sharabi ko aap pahachan na saki
sharabi hum maana, majnoo hum nahilagta hai
aap abhi bhi hamme samajh na sakimajnoo hai
apne hazzar per mein kisi ke laila nahi
**
दोस्ती का नशा काम नही होता
पीने सेहोता है जीने का मज़ा
दूना पीने सेआज मिलके पेते है हम दोस्त
यहामहफ़िल का रंग दूना होता है पीने से*
Dosti ka nasha kaam nahi hota peene se
Hota hai Jeene ka Maza duna peene se
aaj milke pete hai hum dost yaha
mahafil ka rang duna hota hai peene se

Weight Loss Plan - funny story

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"
He lost 63 pounds that week.

Catch a Rabbit - funny story

Catch a Rabbit


The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Some of the great discoveries made by Man and Woman!!!!

Some of the great discoveries made by Man and Woman!!!!

Man discovered Colours and invented PAINT,

Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKE-UP.

Man discovered WORDS and invented CONVERSATION,

Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Man discovered games and invented PLAYING CARDS,

Woman discovered PLAYING CARDS and invented TAROT.

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,

Woman discovered FOOD and invented the DIET.

Man discovered EMOTIONS and invented LOVE,

Woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE

Man discovered WOMAN

and invented SEX

Woman discovered SEX and invented the HEADACHE.

Man discovered TRADE and invented MONEY,

Woman discovered MONEY and that put an end to everything up.......

cliff- funny story

A couple of strangers were drinking at a cliffside bar overlooking
the ocean. Both of them look a little drunk, when one says to
the other: "Hey, look at the wind whipping up the side of that
cliff. It moves pretty fast. I'll bet I could jump off of the
ledge, catch the wind in my coat, and get lifted right back up to
the bar!"
"No way", says the other guy, "you'd fall to your death."
"Well, I'm going to try it!", says the first, and at that he walks
over, stands on the ledge, and leaps off in a swan dive. Sure
enough, he comes sailing back up in no time, and lands on his feet
right in front of the bar.
"I can't believe it!" says the second guy, "that's impossible" .
So the first drunk does it again: he jumps off the cliff, catches
the wind in his coat, and comes sailing back to the bar.
"Go ahead", he says, "try it, it's great!"
"Well, OK, I'm just drunk enough to give it a go", says the second
fellow. So he climbs the ledge and leaps off the cliff, only to
fall screaming to his death on the rocks below.
The first guy walks back to the bar and sits down to his drink.
The bartender steps over, looks him in the eye, and says to him:
"You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes when you've been
drinking, Superman".

Facts To Make Every Indian Proud

Facts To Make Every Indian Proud
Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?
A. Rajiv Gupta
Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm
Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6 th position now.
Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia
Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli
Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika
Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.
Q. We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America , even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population).
YET,38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.

Some of the following facts may be known to you.

These facts were recently published in a German magazine,
which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA .

1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.

2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.

3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.

4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word 'Navigation' is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.
9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53.
10.. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.

12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.

13. Chess was invented in India .
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones.. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).

16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.

Quotes about India .

We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.-Albert Einstein.

India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.-Mark Twain.

If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India .-French scholar Romain Rolland.

India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.-Hu Shih(former Chinese ambassador to USA )

ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.BUT, if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an evershining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow.I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA .

stairs -funny story

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were
sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and
Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25
flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can
tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill
stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor
Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will
tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in
the car!"

The real names of Bollywood Stars!!!!

The real names of Bollywood Stars!!!!
Aamir Khan - Aamir Hussain Khan
Ajay Devgan - Vishal Devgan
Ajit - Hamid Ali Khan
Akshay Kumar - Rajiv Bhatia
Amitabh Bachchan - Amit Srivastav
Ashok Kumar - Kumud Ganguly
Bobby Deol - Vijay Singh Deol
Dev Anand - Devdutt Pishorimal Anand
Dharmendra - Dharam Singh Deol
Dilip Kumar - Yusuf Khan
Govinda - Govinda Arun Ahuja
Jeetendra - Ravi Kapoor
john Abraham - Farhan Abraham
Johnny Lever - Badruddin Qazi
Kamal Haasan- Alwarpettai Aandavar
Kumar Gaurav - Manoj Tulli
Lucky Ali - Maqsood Mehmood Ali
Madhubala - Mumtaz Jehan Begum Dehlavi
Mahima Chaudhry - Ritu Chaudhry
Mallika Sherawat - Reema Lamba
Manoj Kumar - Hare Krishna Goswami
Nana Patekar - Vishwanath Patekar
Raj Kumar - Kulbushan Pandit
Rajesh Khanna - Jatin Khanna
Rajnikant - Sivaji Rao Gaekwad
Rekha - Bhanurekha Ganesan
Salman Khan- Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan
Sanjeev Kumar - Haribhai Jarivala
Shammi Kapoor - Shamsher Raj Kapoor
Shashi Kapoor - Balbirraj Kapoor
Sunil Dutt - Balraj Dutt
Sunny Deol - Ajay Singh Deol
Tuntun : Uma Devi Khatri

Money ( funny story)

There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"
She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
"Yes," the wife said, "I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."