Munna Bhai and Circuit Jokes

Munna Bhai and Circuit Jokes
PROFESSORAkal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
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CIRCUIT
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUIT
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
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MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
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MAMU
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
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MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUITBole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
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PRINCIPAL
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI
Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

The real names of Bollywood Stars!!!!

The real names of Bollywood Stars!!!!
Aamir Khan - Aamir Hussain Khan
Ajay Devgan - Vishal Devgan
Ajit - Hamid Ali Khan
Akshay Kumar - Rajiv Bhatia
Amitabh Bachchan - Amit Srivastav
Ashok Kumar - Kumud Ganguly
Bobby Deol - Vijay Singh Deol
Dev Anand - Devdutt Pishorimal Anand
Dharmendra - Dharam Singh Deol
Dilip Kumar - Yusuf Khan
Govinda - Govinda Arun Ahuja
Jeetendra - Ravi Kapoor
john Abraham - Farhan Abraham
Johnny Lever - Badruddin Qazi
Kamal Haasan- Alwarpettai Aandavar
Kumar Gaurav - Manoj Tulli
Lucky Ali - Maqsood Mehmood Ali
Madhubala - Mumtaz Jehan Begum Dehlavi
Mahima Chaudhry - Ritu Chaudhry
Mallika Sherawat - Reema Lamba
Manoj Kumar - Hare Krishna Goswami
Nana Patekar - Vishwanath Patekar
Raj Kumar - Kulbushan Pandit
Rajesh Khanna - Jatin Khanna
Rajnikant - Sivaji Rao Gaekwad
Rekha - Bhanurekha Ganesan
Salman Khan- Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan
Sanjeev Kumar - Haribhai Jarivala
Shammi Kapoor - Shamsher Raj Kapoor
Shashi Kapoor - Balbirraj Kapoor
Sunil Dutt - Balraj Dutt
Sunny Deol - Ajay Singh Deol
Tuntun : Uma Devi Khatri

Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa Maa ….

Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe,
2 peg whiskey dete the main Jhool jaata tha Maa,
Meri Nazar Dhoondhe theke,
Sochu Yahi Tu mujhko nazar na aa jaye Maa,
Daru main itna pita nahi,
Par Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa,
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin,
Lekin main ludak jaata Hoon Maa,
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa Maa ….

bollywood blopper

Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam
:1) Amitabh is using the Nokia communicator in 1992 whereas Nokia itself launched it from 1998 onwards. May be he is a secret test dummy for Nokia!
2) Amitabh singing "aye kya bolti tu" in Diwali of 1992 whereas the song was released in 1997 in the movie Ghulam. Guess he has esp.
3) But The Mother Of All Flaws In The Movie K3G is when Hrithik is kid he has 10 fingers...when he grows up he has Eleven
4) Last ball of the cricket match. 1 ball and 6 runs needed. Guess what, the ball is shining and unused !!
5) The fatso Laddu turns into Hrithik 10 years later, however Shahrukh, Kajol, Dadi, Nani and Johny Lever are the same after 10 years!!Q: What will a drunkard say after seeing the movie? A: Kabhi Whiskey Kabhie Rum
Pyar To Hona Hi Tha
Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.
Rangeela
Aamir Khan tells his friend that he will take Urmila Matondkar for a Chinese meal. Strangely when they are in the restaurant, Aamir Khan orders usal pav etc. What's happened to the noodle & chowmein?
Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi
Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America. Well well - some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways - since when did they start flying abroad?
Raja Hindustani
Navneet Nishan has a short hair before marriage. But after tying the knot, overnight she acquires waist-length hair. What a hair raising experience!!
Raja
Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call a autofill!
Guddu
Manisha & Shahrukh are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land down on the Glider. What a switch above sea level!
Jung
Rambha files a case against Ajay Devgan accusing him of rape and produces 3 photographs to prove her claim. However in the three photos, she's wearing three different dresses. So I guess it must be a fashion show cum rape going on!!
Tere Mere Sapne
Priya Gill is doing her B.A. But at the bus stop, she is carrying her electrical technology thesis by B.L.Theraja. What an electrifying interest.
Kyun Ho Gaya Na!
In the film Kyun Ho Gaya Na! there is scene where Vivek hands over his peice of necklace charm to Aish but in the next scene afte that one Vivek is wearing the necklace charm again on his neck.

Bollywood and Marriage

Finally, here is some warning given out in good faith!
Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:
( Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote:)
Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai
Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge
Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap
Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage
Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran
Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:(
Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma
Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky
Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?
Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Apke Hain
Shaadi he baad - Hum Apke Hai Koun?